Winding up this blog

I kind of abandoned this blog because of various emotional issues that were weighing heavily on me at the time. However, I am happy to report that I have a very happy and healthy baby born 6-15-07. Little Henry is the light of our whole household. Maybe someday I will come back and fill in the missing pieces!

It's a boy and other updates!

I haven't updated this journal for a long time. I have recently entered the last trimester, and am feeling well most of the time. We are in the process of remodeling the entire house to get ready for this little person to join our family. By the way, he is a boy! We found that out a few weeks ago. He is healthy, although measuring a little big for his age.

I have been well myself until last week when I got the official WORST COLD I EVER HAD! It laid me out flat for almost a week. On Monday, when I was still in the throes of it I went to the doctor and did my glucose tolerance test, and failed. So tomorrow I get to spend half the day at the hospital to do the 4 hour glucose challenge. I had to do that when I was PG with Joe and passed. This time though is a little more scary because I was higher than I was with Joe, and I had been fasting prior to the test even though I was supposed to have eaten (I lost the instructions and thought I was supposed to be fasting). So I was too high with *only* those carbs from the glucose test in my system. I would not be suprised to find out I have GD because I am nearly 10 years older than I was when I was PG with Joe, and the risk goes up with age.

I certainly look pregnant now, and am experiencing a lot of Braxton-Hicks contractions. They suprise me with their strength and how often they occur.

I have been doing a lot of research on attempting to have this baby vaginally, although I have had 2 prior c-sections. This is apparently highly unusual and I have had a strong talking to my the partner in my doc's practice. However, my doc is being supportive and has made concessions about the delivery that make me feel it can be done safely. In addition, I have asked a friend who is a midwife and a childbirth doula to attend me during the VBA2C attempt. She and I talked for a good 30 minutes and she gave me a lot of good advice. Martin is uneasy about the whole thing, but I am approaching it with safety and caution in the highest priority. I will write more about my reasons for wanting a VBA2C so badly another time.

The other major baby issue is circumcision. We were hoping to avoid the whole debate with a girl, but that is not to be. Marty is dead set on circumcising the boy, and I am dead set he will not be circumcised. This is a debate that has really taken a toll on our relationship, so I am approaching it with prayer since we can't talk about it without a major blowup.

The kids are excited about the baby coming, and especially excited that they will each be getting their own bedrooms out of the deal. I am excited for the basement remodel to be done and for me to get my house back in order. I am ready to throw the TV out the window after 2 months of having it in my living room. There is something just so unpleasant about SpongeBob before breakfast.

I have not updated for a long time. I have been feeling quite queasy and tired and have been kind of barely holding on. I have regular meltdowns, and of course, once the hormones (and the tears) start flowing, they don't stop. Isn't pregnancy fun? The worst is when it happens in public!

However, things seem to be going well. I was able to stop taking the progesterone shots about 3 weeks ago, and that seems to be making a big difference in how I feel. I was able to hear the baby's heartbeat last week, and although it was very soft, it was distinct.

I am about 13 weeks to go-- about 1/3 of the way there!

Singleton baby on the way

Well I am a little chagrined that I put my prediction out here on my journal yesterday because boy was I wrong. We have one tiny little baby. We have started calling the little one Squirt (but Marty can't remember Squirt and always says Sprout). Squirt is just exactly the right size for gestational age (9.2 mm), and has a heartbeat over 70 beats (per minute, I think). So baby deLannoy is so far extremely perfect (as his or her siblings have been). I suppose it's pretty easy to be perfect when you are the size of a grain of rice and suspended in a sac full of water. There's really not that much trouble you can get into.

I must admit that I was slightly disappointed that the other baby did not survive the transfer, but both Marty and I are relieved that we'll be having just one. I'm not sure our house could hold six people! We are now going to have to get serious about remodeling our basement so we can move at least one kiddo downstairs.

Update- ultrasound is tomorrow

Tomorrow is the day we find out if we are having twins or not. It seems that the consensus among people who have an opinion is that we may well be. I have a feeling that we could be as well, just based on my own intuition. So I am going to make that prediction and tomorrow we will find out for certain.

I have mixed feelings about the possibility of twins. I would be thrilled in the sense that I am really routing for both of those little embryos. However, I can see that it would be a huge challenge emotionally, physically, and financially. I don't know how we would ever afford day care for two babies (and four kids in the summer!) I am going to have to put my trust in the Lord again that he will provide the strength and means (whether we're having one or two!)

There are about 50 people waiting on pins and needles to find out. I kind of wish that we hadn't told anyone it was a possibility so that we could share this aspect if and when it were a reality. That's one thing about IVF pregnancies-- the whole world seems to live and die with whatever happens to me and my family. That's a lot of pressure. Sometimes I wish it was just Martin and me in the loop. However, I need the support and prayers of family and friends, and that's the tradeoff. I am glad to share the joy with everyone, just a little overwhelmed as I am a very private person.

As far as the pregnancy, I have been feeling okay. Nauseous, and tired, so dead tired. However, this weekend I had 3 nights in a row of early nights and late mornings, so today I am feeling pretty well. The nausea ebbs and flows throughout the day. Usually if I eat something, it seems to get better. It's worse if I am riding in the car (even driving). I've been craving fruit and veggies, especially things that are orange like peaches and yams, and I've also been craving spinach and steak. Sweet things taste better, but not candy or icecream. Although I made peanut butter cookies yesterday, and they hit a jones.

Marty has been gone for most of the last two weeks. That has been a challenge given how tired I've been feeling. But he is back now, so I'll be glad to have him around even just for moral support.

I am so fed up with shots. I've had a tough time with them, as I've been allergic to several formulations of progesterone, and the one I'm not allergic to I can't get locally, so I can't get insurance to cover it. I am counting down the days until I have no more shots-- 21 more shots as of today. That will be a total of about 70 shots for the whole experience!

Followup test today

Today I had another quantitative HCG test, and the level had risen to 567. It was supposed to be at least 476, so that is a good number.

Last night after I got the kids to bed, and Marty and I were getting ready to go to sleep, we decided to say a prayer of gratitude. We are so thankful and so hopeful. I am just so excited.

I talked to Denise at the clinic today (the nurse). She is a real character. She was telling me how excited Marty was when he talked to her the other day. He went over everything with her, and hung up, then called her back a few minutes later to go over all of it again because he couldn't remember! Denise expressed her excitement for us. It's really fun how the staff at the clinic gets involved in our outcome. I've always been really impressed with everyone on the staff.

One thing that's been interesting this time was that Marty has been the nervous wreck, and I have been much more calm and serene about the whole thing. He's the one who really wanted to initiate the IVF-- he's been waiting for me to be ready for a few years, so he was maybe more emotional about it. Now that we are pregnant, he has not shown much excitement to me, but he has to others. I'm a little confused about that, I must admit. I'm sure it will come out at some point because he is not usually able to hide his emotions for long. He's going to be a great Dad, just as he is now to Joe and Caroline.

Now we know

We are able to announce officially a BIG FAT POSITIVE!

Hooray! We will be expecting our next "little d" on or about June 10th, 2007.

On October 24th (10am) we will have an ultrasound to find out if we are talking twins or one baby. That is such an interesting experience-- the baby is about the size of a grain of rice, yet it has the beginnings of a tiny brain and a little bitty heart that beats.

I know I will be thrilled in any case, but my mother heart is secretly rooting for both babies. I felt the same about my other two IVF cycles. I'm not sure I'm cut out to be the mother of twins!

I am so grateful for the doctors, nurses, for my supportive and dear husband, and for my family and friends. Most of all I am grateful for the kind and loving guidance of a Heavenly Father. I feel that we were led and comforted and guided throughout the whole process, as we have been each time we have experienced IVF.

If you have sent us your thoughts and prayers, THANKS!